If you thought 2020 couldn't get any worse,colonial eroticism you were obviously wrong.
On Monday morning, one of the last wholesome presences on the internet, Mr. Ryan Creamer, announced his retirement from doing comedy on Pornhub.
"Today, 2 years to the day from when I started it, I am ending my Pornhub career. These videos added so much fun to my life and I hope they did for you too. Thank you all for watching," Creamer tweeted. "Now, I leave you the way all porn must inevitably end."
Before Creamer bid Pornhub farewell, he posted one final video titled, "THE MONEY SHOT," in which he can be seen holding a $20.00 bill and saying, "I got you something. Don't spend it all in one place. Well, bye bye."
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Earlier this year, Creamer told Mashable that he started making wholesome Pornhub videos in 2018 after realizing how easy it was to create an account and get verified. After his first video— titled "I Tuck You In After You Have Cum" — received such delightful praise, he decided to keep the bit going and went on to make 83 videos, which received more than 11 million views combined.
Full disclosure: Ryan and I were Mashable interns together in 2016. When I texted him for comment, he asked that I share the following message with his fans: "A genuine thank you for watching — and though I may be gone I shall be in your hearts and incognito windows for the rest of time."
While you may miss seeing Ryan's giant smile, navy blue sweater, and admirable respect for boundaries on screen each week, you can always revisit some of his greatest hits — you might want to start with the forehead kiss compilation, a hug, or a warm shoulder to cry on.
You can learn even more about Ryan's successful Pornhub career here. He also has a new comedy podcast, American Detour.
Farewell, our sweet platonic porn prince. You will be missed.
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