【Beauty and the Beast porn parody (1988)】

Warning: This post contains spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War.

Hello,Beauty and the Beast porn parody (1988) I am a lifelong Harry Potter fan who saw Avengers: Infinity Waron opening night, and I had me some serious fandom déjà vu.

Here was a powerful evil being, hell-bent on absolute power, searching far and wide for objects to make him stronger and ultimately defeat his foes. It's Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Also, Thanos' children look like Voldemort. Don't @ me!

SEE ALSO: Who's who in 'Avengers: Infinity War'

This isn't an indictment of Infinity War's originality (especially since the source material is much older). All epic stories and heroes' journeys follow a similar format, it's true! This one is just so close.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the book, and Part 1the movie) picks up with Harry hunting down horcruxes – the pieces of Voldemort's soul encased in unknown objects. Destroying them will weaken Voldemort, and only when they're all gone will his physical form be mortal once more.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

As Thanos hunted Infinity Stones across the universe, I couldn't help recalling Harry's quest for the horcruxes. He knew what they were – just as Thanos knows all the Infinity Stones he has to collect – but not exactly where they were. To Thanos' credit, he's much better at finding them, probably due to some superhuman abilities since he's a powerful being from Titan and Harry P is a human teen who got lost camping in the woods.

When he finally finds the Soul Stone on Vormir – a remote, isolated satellite that is the planetary equivalent of that cave where Voldemort hid the locket – Thanos must make a sacrifice to obtain it. Creating a horcrux requires literally sacrificing your soul, a.k.a. tearing it apart with a horrific act like murder. Even reaching hidden horcruxes usually requires an element of sacrifice; Dumbledore leaves blood outside the cave before they can enter it to retrieve the locket.

Plus Vormir is haunted by Red Skull who floats in like a goddamn dementor. What are y'all doing to me!

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It's easy to jump to the conclusion that Infinity Stones are horcruxes, but hold your thestrals, fellow nerds! As described above, the power and allure of the Infinity Stones is much more like that of the Deathly Hallows, three objects which ultimately make the possessor master of death.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Thanos can't be defeated while he has two Infinity Stones, let alone the whole set. As he collected them, I felt a growing dread at what he could do with all that power, what horrors lay in store for our heroes as their enemy grew powerful beyond belief. At one point during Infinity War, the screen cut to black, and I was 90 percent sure this would be the next thing I'd see:

Throughout Infinity War, as the Potter parallels piled up, I found myself fascinated by the philosophy of such powerful objects and about questions of remorse and personhood as they pertain to horcruxes, Hallows, and Infinity Stones. Thanos certainly seemedto feel remorse (within the limits of a CGI budget) when he, you know, murdered Gamora. Remorse is the only thing that can repair a fractured soul. Will it somehow help redeem Thanos? (Probably not!)

When he finally gets to Earth, Vision experiences immediate physical discomfort related to his Infinity Stone.

Translation:

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

So, in conclusion, whether you choose Hallows or horcruxes (and Harry did have to choose), the fact is that Thanos is a total Voldemort, but we've got a lot more to worry about since he wants to conquer the entire universe and not just, like, a school in Great Britain. Shoutout to him for dreaming big, but also no because he's killing my faves all over the place.

Will the next Avengersmovie entail our remaining heroes mastering the Infinity Stones as Harry mastered the Deathly Hallows? That might not be possible; look how much planning and execution it took for Tony and Peter to even come close to getting that glove off.

TL;DR Mean people are mean! No matter what big ticket franchise you're loyal to, you're going to have to deal with evil beings trying to collect objects in the name of unlimited power. And you're going to have to wait a year to find out what fresh horrors Thanos has in store.

Avengers: Infinity Waris now in theaters. Find showtimes and theaters near you.

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Topics Disney Harry Potter Marvel